Some time ago I thought it would be fun to do a run for my birthday. We looked on the Half Fanatics calendar and couldn’t find anything. Then Morrie found this. I didn’t know if I was ready to run 15.5 miles on a trail yet so we didn’t sign up. As time went by we ran a few more half marathons and were going to sign up for the Dizzy Daze 25k but they changed it to a half marathon so we opted out of that one. Which brings us back to the Dirty Duo.
I was feeling pretty confident, especially after having shaved 15 minutes off my time at the Historic Half. We signed up to do the 25k run. I had looked at the web site a few times but mostly just to look at how much it cost and where could we lodge. I neglected to read the details of the course or look at the photos of previous years. Big mistake. No, actually it was for the best that I didn’t look at those things because if I had, I would never have signed up for it. The route is described as, “very technical” and “challenging”. To say the least.
My birthday was the day before the race so the plan was to go to breakfast at Easy Street Cafe. Yummy! After we ate, we packed our bags and loaded up the dogs and their overnight stuff. Morrie took the dogs in the truck and I went to pick up Susan. Susan and I were going to meet Morrie at her moms and we’d leave from there. We got to the high point of the West Seattle bridge and discovered that Susan didn’t have her passport. 
At least we realized it only 10 minutes from home instead of, say, at the border. We turned around to get it.
We arrived at Morrie’s moms house and the dogs had been able to get out of the back yard and Morrie had spent some time bolstering up the weak part of the fence. She rounded them up and put them in their room and we were off to Canada.
We decided to go through the main border crossing at Blaine. We pulled up to the window and the border agent asked us the usual questions: Where are you going? Are you meeting anyone? Are you bringing coffee or cigarettes? How long are you staying? Are you bringing coffee or cigarettes? Apparently there’s a problem with coffee and cigarette smuggling. After a few minutes we were on our merry way. Since this was a new way of entering Canada for us we were a bit discombobulated. I had printed off Google directions to packet pickup at some store in North Vancouver. I also printed off directions from packet pickup to our hotel.
What I didn’t know is that the printer used both sides of the page so when I got to the end of the first page, I went to the top of the next page. Oops. We drove out to packet pickup and almost made it but then the directions told us to basically go back to where we came from. This made no sense and I was getting cranky. The directions took us right to our hotel, as they were meant to, and then I realized what I had done. So, back to packet pickup. We checked in, got a map that none of us could read and were handed our Dirty Duo hoodies, 3 sizes too big.
Back to the hotel to check in. I was getting pretty hungry and more cranky so we checked in, threw our bags in the room and went to the little pub located next to the hotel. We had a lovely dinner and I opened my presents. Lots of running things this year, surprise. I got a watch so I can keep track of my time. And I got a gift certificate to REI. After dinner we went back to the hotel and crawled into bed. The race started the next day at 11am but we wanted to get up early and get something to eat.
We woke up the next morning and slowly got dressed. We headed back out to where we picked up our packets because we saw a Tim Horton’s where we could get some food. We got our bagels and coffees and headed back to the hotel. The race start was only about a half mile from the hotel and parking at the start was already full so we just walked to it. We went into the meeting area and put our bags against the wall. Soon, the director gave us her spiel which included the dreadful news that there were 4 inches of snow at Ned’s. (Because of their cute little accent I kept thinking they were saying Nad’s). Snow. Great. I was wearing my usual running attire: wool socks, shorts, long sleeved tech shirt over a short sleeved tech shirt. Not exactly prepared for snow. But I figured it was just part of the race and I could suffer through that section.
Soon we were all headed out to the start line. A little cold out but not too bad. And we were off. Out of the parking lot and onto the road down the hill. Through a gravel lot and onto a gravel trail. Down the trail and onto a path that followed the river and then, into the woods.
Just inside the woods. Fresh legs.
That was the last time I had any sense of what time it was. We ran through the woods. Over boardwalks and through mud. Up hills; down hills. Through more mud. Then a very steep down hill. There was no way to run this section. Steps were about 1 1/2 feet from each other. And what goes down, must come up. Ugh! Steps up the other side were just as big.
Up, up, up.
My calves were burning. We reached the top and got to actually run for a little while on flat, groomed trails. We finally came out at a very welcome aid station.
Susan revealed that her injury was flaring up. We asked her if she wanted to continue and she said yes so we had a few Mars bars and some energy drink and hit the trail. But first, a pit stop at the restrooms. Then we re-hit the trail. The next section was wide, like a forest service road, and gravelly. And downhill. And we popped out at another aid station. We had more snacks and Susan had a mini breakdown because she was in pain and we asked her if she wanted to continue. She said yes, got a hug and off we went.
Across the bridge, down a gravel road and then up a trail. This section wound its way through the forest. It wasn’t too steep and we could run a good portion of this section. We walked part of it and started talking to a woman who was in the race with us. She had fallen down a hill at the beginning of the race and was a bit muddy on one side. She wasn’t hurt though. We learned that she lived in North Vancouver. Susan felt better going up hill so she ran most of the way in this area. We chose to walk it. Eventually we caught up to her and came up to another aid station. This one was pretty picked over. Very little water left over so we could only fill our bottles a little. I had my backpack so I was still ok on water.
After this aid station it looked like it was straight up the mountain. We headed up the hill walking. It was getting cooler and muddier. And then snow started to appear on the sides of the trail. Nobody at any of the aid stations knew how far in they were so that made me a little crazy since I didn’t know how I should pace myself. We went up. And up. And up some more. The snow covered more of the area around us now and it was chilly.
Up, to Ned's.
We came to a clearing and there was a Dirty Duo arrow pointing our way. There was some debate as to which way the arrow was pointing but we went the least likely way anyway, through what we now refer to as the rabbit hole.
The rabbit hole
After entering the rabbit hole, the entire landscape changed. Jagged rocks; no foliage; very large trees. Were we on the right trail? I maintained yes, we were. Morrie was skeptical and said she didn’t want to go the wrong way only to backtrack. Interesting, the way she wanted to go was actually the wrong way but down hill, she would have had to backtrack if she had gone that way but I think the mountain madness had gotten to her and she just wanted off Ned’s. I don’t blame her for that. I do blame her for arguing with my superior sense of direction though. She went ahead up the trail like she knew she wouldn’t find any trail markers and guess what? She found one. Told ya.
This section might be where I got a little hysterical. I can’t remember much of it except that it was eerie and cold. The trail had a river of melted snow running down the center of it so my feet were wet but thanks to my wool socks they weren’t cold. My torso and arms were getting very cold. My legs were ok, even though I was wearing shorts. We came to another aid station. I can’t believe the guy had been there all day, freezing! There wasn’t much to eat and a bit of water but not much. We needed to keep moving so we’d stay warm so we headed out.
Snow.
Going downhill was harder for Susan because of her injury. Morrie and I helped her down some of the bigger steps but she managed quite well on her own. And it started to hail. Right. Thanks. Is this the insult added to the injury or just more insult? Morrie commented that all we needed now was a lightning strike or a wild animal. We were losing it.
We continued down the trail. Down. Down. And more down. I remember thinking, “I was just saying how tired I was of all the up and now I’m just as tired of the down”. It just wouldn’t end. How far did we have to go? Nobody knew. I guessed. And re-guessed. I could never remember what answer I came up with the first time so I’d have to calculate all over again.
We were gingerly coming down the hill and I heard a thump-thump, like something falling. I immediately thought that Susan had fallen but I didn’t hear any yelps. I whipped around to see two mountain bikers right on my tail. They had come over a jump and landed right behind us. Scared the bejesus out of me. We let them pass and in seconds they were gone. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to come down that trail on a mountain bike but I did a search on the good ol’ internets and found this. Crazy. We eased ourselves down the trail. At some point Susan had a little breakdown, got some hugs and we were on our way again.
The trail down from Ned's
Eventually it happened. It happened at the inaugural Mud and Chocolate and it happened at Nookachamps. The sweepers came up behind us. Fine. We are no stranger to bringing up the rear. It’s a role that we are comfortable with. There were two of them with cute little Canadian accents. They stayed behind us, politely. Suddenly we plopped out onto a road. We had been on it before. The aid station was right there. I thought we might be close to the finish. The aid station was pretty deplete of supplies. Some Mars bars and maybe some energy drink, I don’t remember. Susan made the decision to drop out. A decision she regrets. I think she made the right decision considering her injury which still has not healed. Morrie and I continued on.
The last leg was pretty much going back down then up the same way we came. The sweeper would stop for a bit and let us get ahead, then catch up to us again, stop for a bit and let us get ahead. Repeat. By this time though my hamstrings were about 1/8″ long. And then came the big climb back out of the ravine. We practically had to crawl up. I used my hands several times to hoist myself up. At the top of the hill we took a left instead of going right, which was the way we came in. It was nice because now I didn’t know what to expect and wouldn’t be dreading anything except the unknown. It was really muddy here and my shoe almost came off more than once. We ran. And ran. And ran some more. Finally, the trail spit us out at a road. An actual paved road with stripes painted on it. I was overjoyed. I recognized the area from when we were looking for a parking spot so I knew we were close to the finish. Morrie was a bit ahead of me but I caught up to her when she stopped to take a picture of a cemetery. Some comments were made about could someone just dig a hole now for us? And we were back at it. She got ahead of me again. Soon, we heard people cheering and what did Morrie do? She sped up! Hello? It’s *my* birthday! Do you think she slowed down and let me cross the finish line first? No, she didn’t! Unbelievable. What mattered most was that we did cross the finish line and that the run was over. Now, food.
Oh, except everything was packed up since it took us 6 hours and 15 minutes to run this damn thing. The organizer did give me a beer though. The best tasting beer I’ve ever had.
We went back to the hotel, showered, dressed and went back to the pub for dinner. It was hockey night in Canada so the place was packed. We sat down near the restroom and ordered. We chit chatted about the run and watched hockey and watched the Canadians watch hockey. We noticed a woman walking toward us. She was actually heading to the restroom. We all smiled at her because she had that ginger walk that we were also experiencing. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this.
We had a great dinner and another beverage before heading back to the hotel. We crawled into bed and passed out. I can’t wait to do this run again next year.
Dirty Duo legs
The shoes are not returnable.
Mt. Seymour and Ned's Atomic Dustbin
