Fatty 3 – Ramblings

This is Fatty 3 here.  Yes, I am the one that is neither maintaining or losing weight.  I am actually gaining weight.  I admire Fatty 1 for her ability to keep at it.  Even when she isn’t on an official eating program, she still manages to maintain her weight.  Fatty 22, may not blog or go on any “official” eating plans, but she is exercising and manages to maintain her weight at a reasonable level very well.  These two are the examples to follow.  I, on the other hand, am the example of how not to lead your life.

I have this belief that we each have our individual basic issues to resolve/deal with in life.  My personal belief system is that I chose this life and my “issues” or “life/karmic lessons” prior to inhabiting this body and that those will always be the core of who I am and what I need to deal with in this lifetime.  On the positive side, I believe that I am intelligent enough to have a pretty damn good sense of humor.  I have empathy for creatures on this earth that are non-human, and I can appreciate beauty and a weed free lawn.  On the negative side, I have addiction issues that range from food (which becomes obvious when you see my pictures on this website) to pull tabs to “reality” TV.  I have battled all my life with depression and have made several feeble attempts at suicide.  As I have gotten older, I have become an isolationist, pessimistic, misanthropic, crank who believes the younger generation has no sense of work ethic and an inability to understand why they can’t drive and text message at the same time (don’t get me started on Twitter and Iphone). 

My question is, when is it time to give up trying to leap the Grand Canyon on your motorcycle?  When you die trying, or when you’ve made 487 attempts and failed?  And if you do quit, then what?  What does quitting mean?  Does it mean quitting and living your life unsatisfied?  Or does it mean, not living life?

What if this life is just paying off the karmic debt that was incurred in previous lifetimes?  That sucks.  Here I am dealing with being ripped off by the general contractor who I hired to remodel my bathroom because I ripped off the guy who I hired in a previous life to build my tomb?  It’s like punishing my dog today for chasing the cat last month.

So, what’s your point you ask.  My point is….when does one say Uncle?  When do you stop trying to lose weight even though you know it will impact your life in so many physical and psychological ways?  When do you stop trying and failing, or worse yet, trying, succeeding and then gaining the weight back?  When do you realize that they just don’t make a size 20 petite?

My cats love me when I am home all day eating.  They don’t mind the crumbs in the bed.  Maybe it’s enough that I make my cats happy……?